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real ass astrology

Hi, I’m Cole

I am a professionally trained astrologer with a penchant for the foolish. My religious upbringing taught me that a serious rigidity of spirituality can diminish the soul’s growth. I believe astrology is one of the greatest tools for psychological reflection, while taking the piss out of life from time to time. Insightful conversations about a soul’s potential, and amusing astrological associations are just two of the ways I help people understand the cosmic archetypes' influence on daily life.

I am currently working toward a MA in Cultural Astronomy & Astrology at the University of Wales Trinity Saint David.

This just in, I wrote a book!

The Signs and the Stars is a witty walk through the zodiac by blending pop culture with astrology. Curious how long you’d survive in a horror movie? Perhaps you need some new music recommendations that sing to your soul? This beautifully illustrated conversational cunty coffee table book is perfect for astrology lovers of all degrees.

Available in stores April 28, 2026.

Work with me

  • One on one cosmic consultations over video call aimed to help you navigate the chaos that is being a conscious human being in the year 2026. Readings are available to be booked minimum one week in advance. This time allows me to prepare your chart adequately.

  • I first discovered Cole through fellow astrologer Annabel Gat. I thought his work was incredible, and I really enjoyed the optimism and humor he brought to his online presence. In booking my first reading with Cole, I knew I had made the right choice. I’m an artist, and as an artist, the road ahead is not always clear. Cole worked with me to not only breakdown what the next year would have in store, he worked intuitively with me to help shape a plan for what energies to step into as the year evolved. As things progressed the way he said, I checked in with him throughout the year, and ended up having my best year ever as an actor. Kind, insightful, and funny as hell, I cannot recommend Cole enough.

    —Patrick C. / Los Angeles, CA

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